Heinlein’s insect

Per Heinlein,

Have I/Can I

1. Change a Diaper – Don’t know. Never tried.
2. Plan an invasion – Do hours of Age of Empires and Age of Mythology experience count? No?
3. Butcher a hog – No. Also, as a vegetarian, ewww.
4. Conn a ship – No. Landlubber from head to toe.
5. Design a building – Tried to robot-proof my dorm room. Don’t think that’s what Heinlein had in mind though.
6. Write a sonnet – Never tried. Probably can’t. Cant hurt to try though. A fine idea for a future post.
7. Balance accounts – Easy.
8. Build a wall – No, but in AoE, I can build a wall and fortify it too.
9. Set a bone – If there are any broken bones around me, my first instinct would be to get the hell out of that place.
10. Comfort the dying – I expect people talk a lot about heaven and the afterlife during these conversations. Not sure I can spew so much bullshit.
11. Take orders – Yes
12. Give orders – Yes
13. Cooperate – On occasion, yes.
14. Act alone – Plenty of times.
15. Solve equations – In my sleep.
16. Analyze a new problem – Easy.
17. Pitch manure – No.
18. Program a computer – Bah. Child’s play.
19. Cook a tasty meal – My cooking’s tasty enough for me.
20. Fight efficiently – What is ‘efficiently’ ? Expend least energy? Inflict maximum damage? Take least damage? In any case I’m sure I can’t fight ‘efficiently’. In fact, I’m not sure I can fight at all.
21. Die gallantly – No. Can’t see that happening. I’ll probably squeal like a child when I see the red glint in the murderous robot’s eye.

Heinlein score – 9/21

Verdict – 42.9% human, 57.1% insect

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